Hot Takes or Wise Words? (part 1)

Hello friends,

I got the idea for this post (originally a newsletter) while on my morning coffee run. What was first a tiny thought became a thought-hole (thank you Nikki Night for introducing me to that term).

My team and our clients are well aware of the fact that I “talk in memes.” Whether these memes are hot takes or wise words is not for me to decide. However, I had to stop 3 times on my walk in order to jot down more hot takes/wise words. Welcome to Part 1.

None of these statements are without exceptions, but in my experience over a 13+ year career in Adult, I’ve found them to be pretty accurate.

Not every time you are desperate will something bad happen, but every time something bad happens, it’s because you were desperate.

I have to credit my late duos partner/mentor/best friend for this one. When we get desperate – for money, for attention, for love, for power, we get sloppy and make concessions on things we otherwise wouldn’t. Keep your wits about you and realize that no bag, no viral post, no high profile collab is worth sacrificing your safety or personal values.

Embrace your limitations.

So this is kinda counter intuitive but the more self-aware you are and accepting of your own weaknesses, the more you can stay solution oriented and focus on your strengths. Don’t get bogged down in self criticism. Don’t dwell, keep it moving and the more you know yourself, the more you can leverage those strengths to more authentic success.

The numbers that matter are the ones that others don’t see.

Follower count, likes, comments, these are VANITY numbers. They don’t mean shit if you aren’t making sales, getting bookings, and being able to pay your bills. I mean, think about it. Would you rather have 30k followers or 30k in the bank? One does not necessarily mean the other. Focus on the numbers going on behind the scenes.

No one pays as much attention to you as you do.

While it may feel like haters and trolls are focused exclusively on you, by nature they will never be as focused on you as you are. During one of my lowest points, the legendary Juno Mac reminded me of the phenomenon known as the Spotlight Effect: “the psychological phenomenon by which people tend to believe they are being noticed more than they really are.” Sorry to burst your bubble kids, but you’r’e not the center of the universe. Don’t worry, this too shall pass.

If someone or something is not contributing to moving your life forward in a positive direction, fuck em.

If they aren’ paying for your bills, if they aren’t inspiring you to be a better person or professional, if they aren’t helping you grow in some fashion, THEY ARE INCONSEQUENTIAL IN YOUR LIFE. Get rid of them. Either literally or just remove them from the mental real estate you give them.

What do you think? Do you agree with these? Go down your own thought hole and let us know!

Until Part 2,
Carly

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